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Snobbery is alive and well in America

I have to admit to being rather a snob. But wait, that's not really such a bad thing, and it shouldn't be intimidating towards anyone! With just a little effort, along with a complete pronunciation of ALL your words, in any language - good news - you could become a snob too!

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I shall never understand why being accused of snobbishness is such a bad thing. I prefer to call my enlightened, broad and extensive English vocabulary by another term rather than 'snobby'. I like to think of myself as simply worldly and polite and mindful of my fellow human companions.

For some reason down through the ages, the applying of a snobby speech in every day life was a very terrible insult, and nearly everyone would shun the atrocious snob! Whatever for I say? I don't particularly care to sit for hours on end, trying to pick sense of someone's adapted mannerism of slang-talk, and then horror of horrors, be expected to provide a response to the gibberish?

"Well, I never! I say, did this unexpected event happen as of today? My dear girl, were you injured? Well, if you don't mind me commenting on your personal affairs, you have my full support and sympathy. Here's to your health, and to a rather more tiddily-pop day on the morrow! Cheers!"

Can you possibly imagine the blank stares and questioning persona's I should get from my dinner companion if I counteracted with such an address? No doubt whatever the poor soul was attempting to slang-talk his or her way through, had nothing at all to do with my overly sympathetic response. How should I know? I'm a snob and speak exclusively snobby. I do not and never have nor ever will, talk slang!

In closing, may I politely point out the quintessential purpose of this little tirade.

"Snobby is NOT as snobby DOES. Snobby IS as snobby SAYS."

The lowliest bum on the most despicable of streets could be the biggest snob you'd ever wish to meet, but never would you guess him to be until he opened his mouth to speak. Yet, at the other end of the high and mighty snob spectrum, just as you are saying hello to what looks like a powerful, stately and well-groomed snobby gentlemen, you might be shocked as to what comes out of his mouth. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, it just may be the bum on the street who practises the fine art of snobbishness expertly, while the finely clad gentleman in the top hat and tails, well he, my dear, is NO snob!

I think the world would be a finer, gentler, more gracious place to exist, if more of it's inhabitants embraced their snobbier sides, and trashed the crude, slang-talk for good! And that my friends is why I am a snob. Sorry, please excuse me, I mean that is why I am worldly and polite and mindful of my fellow human companions.



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